Fashion..ish

Hello, Republic! Nik here. Today I’m going to teach you how to cook with napalm! (Absolutely not!)unnamed

One of my co-bloggers, Veriko, has recently revealed to me that there is such a thing as campus fashion. I feel compelled to weigh in on the subject of fashion, since I have absolutely no competence to be talking about it. Logic. Yay.

Few things about me when it comes to clothes:

I’m a man of simple taste. I like black, with pockets, spacious, abrasion-and-weather-resistant. In other words: work wear. I have no desire to baby a pair of white trousers, fretting about them staining. Let Kanye do that.

I hate shopping. Its a chore for me, to go into a store and browse the hideously overpriced selection of things that are not black. Trying to convince myself that I want or need them. I don’t. I’d much rather purchase everything I need on the Internet.

I wouldn’t know a fashionable item if it hit me in the face with a Versace spanner.

Marketing people would have us believe that clothes are a medium of self-expression. Perhaps… The way I see it, fashion is a visual language, and some are quite eloquent and use it to skilfully convey a mood, an attitude towards life, an allegiance to a sub-culture. But not everyone speaks that language. I envy people who can purposefully communicate that way. The only thing I can purposefully communicate through clothing is that I own pants.

And what I’ve noticed is that there is a great degree of difference in the way people shop, depending on whether they speak fashion.

When I do go shopping, my process is painfully simple: I think of what I need to buy, in what quantity and for what purpose. Then identify a place that sells it. On location, browse the aisles and pick something that looks fairly decent. Begin analysis: Does it fit me? Does it fit my budget? Does it have pockets? Is it black? (If I’m feeling particularly festive that morning – dark grey). If all of the above are a “yes”, splash some money at the cashier and expeditiously exit the premises.

That pretty much settles the matter.
Fashionable people can seldom follow this method and this goes especially for women. Because men go into a store to buy a thing; women go into a store to buy the thing. Men in general just buy stuff to wear; women make strategic additions to their wardrobe. A woman’s wardrobe is a carefully selected collection of rare exhibits that co-exist in perfect harmony, the fragile balance of which must be maintained with mathematical precision. Wizardry is what that is.

But lets get back to campus. Winter is coming and with it – exams. Many people are polishing up their final projects, trying to raise their GPA and contemplating important questions like “Why God, why? Why me?” and “I wonder if I can still eat this?” So set your priorities straight and realize that the only person that really cares is you. Take care of yourself, invest in comfort (wear UGGs if you wish to summon the wrath of Veriko), and think of other people’s opinions only if you really have the time for it. High heels don’t help balance the accounts.

Stay safe, Republic. May the pizza be with you.
Nik

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