Salutations Republic!

12248738_498855123625703_1970742166_nIt’s been a while since we last spoke, and I left you on a somewhat apocalyptic note. The situation really wasn’t worth the drama, because of course we all survived and the grades were fine and much pizza was had afterwards. There was much learned from that experience, and this knowledge will lay at the foundation of this post. Not so much a survival guide, just observations, myths and suggestions specific to the life in our glorious republic.

  1. Time Management – is not a thing. People with schedules scare me, because in my world schedules are lies we tell ourselves. We feel confident and inspired at first, but those naïve illusions about our ability to make adult decisions inevitably get run over and crushed by the procrastination train. True time management is knowing when you are most productive. For me it’s no earlier than 10pm, which isn’t at all convenient, but I make it work by finding ways to catch up on sleep during the day. Speaking of which…
  1. Sleep – DO IT! All-nighters will happen, and that’s fine. You know what isn’t fine? Every-nighters! You will soldier through for a while, but remember that you’re only human, which means you will not rise past the third day. Remember my last post? Yeah, didn’t sleep well at all that week. It’s hard not to REM through an 8:30 class as it is, and you want to do it on two hours of sleep? Forget it. Of course, there are people who think that they can cancel the effects of sleep deprivation with…
  1. Coffee – is not your friend. During my freshman year I regarded coffee as fuel. It isn’t. It’s an anaesthetic that delays the consequences of your imprudence. Listen, I know how it goes. The scenario is all too familiar to me: You sit all day watching the procrastination train bulldozing through town, followed by the decimation of hurricane Panic, which can only be mitigated through all-nighter protocol coming into effect for the 17th time this semester. And you think to yourself “Oh! You know what will make it all go away? A cup of coffee! I’ll be fine!” Haha. Hahaha. No. You’ll feel like a soggy cheeseburger that has the ill-fortune of being awake.
  1. Textbooks – are read only by the chosen ones, the ones who are skilled in the art of textbook reading. Personally, unless I’m reading something I actually like, a textbook is wasting my time. Granted, some authors really do make it their job to include only the essential information, however, I feel those are a dying breed. So many textbook authors like to add a vapid introduction, a story, some dad jokes, maybe a poorly drawn cartoon, and only then after thoroughly insulting your intelligence do they finally arrive at the point. The author might be delusional, but you and I know it’s a not a novel, so look for italics, bolded text, headings, definitions. But for the love of chicken enchiladas don’t read the whole thing! If the author is a total noob and didn’t bother to make their work readable, then don’t bother. It isn’t anything some Googling can’t fix.
  1. And finally and most importantly ATTEND!!! I cannot. Stress this. Enough. In LCC coming to class is essential. You can afford to not do homework every once in a while, but you cannot afford to skip class. The thought “I should skip class because I’m tired” is the spawn of Satan! A lot of people revise the day before the exam, and do well, but they revise what they were taught in class, not learn everything from scratch! In addition, some exams questions are specifically designed to test how attentive you were in class. It doesn’t matter how much material the teacher makes available online, every class will always have “exclusive content”. Even if you’re a mess wearing crocs, a panda onesie and your signature “don’t talk to me” face
    – be there.

Heed these words of caution and you shall emerge victorious on the other side of the academic year. This is not a comprehensive list and I’ll be sure to add anything else I may come up in the future. May Goliath the LCC printer never fail you!